Monday, January 09, 2006

smells like baby boomer spirit

Is it my imagination or do I never see pics of South on AVN's website during the convention and awards celebration??

YAY! The Steelers beat the Bengals!!! One down, two to go.

I guess you all know by now that the Nun Bun was stolen from a cafe in Nashville on Christmas Day. I am sad to say it has still not been returned.
If you haven't heard about it, the Nun Bun is a cinnamon bun that looks like Mother Theresa. Good Lord.
Slap a white habit on that thing and it's the spitting imagine of Mother T.
(That's her seldom used rap nickname, btw.)
Reports indicate money lying near the bun was left untouched.
"They went right for the bun," said the owner of the coffee shop. And who wouldn't?

I was reading an article in one of the women’s magazines about gifts for Valentines Day. It made me think of some of the more memorable, but crappy gifts, I’ve gotten for VD. I once dated a guy who was a tad, um, crazy and he gave me a tin that had “I’m nuts over you” written on the outside. The tin was, of course, filled with rocks. Apparently he wasn’t kidding about the “nuts” part. The same guy also gave me candy hearts with religious comments written on them, like “God loves you,” “praise God” and--my favorite--”Got God?” written on them. Another lovely VD gift I received over the years was a potholder with a heart that said “I love you this much.” The heart had “arms”--don’t ask me, I didn’t design it--and the arms were spread about three inches apart. Apparently the dude loved me three inches worth. And, of course, he loved me a whole $1.99 that he shelled out for the crappy pot holder. I think the most memorable Valentine’s Day gift I’ve gotten to date is a statue of a cow that says, “You’re for-heifer.” Oh, yeah, that one went over like free booze at an AA meeting.

The remains of three Prehistoric men from the Iron Age were found recently in an Irish bog. Scientists were shocked at what they found. One used hair gel, the other was 6’6” tall and the third one was clutching a porno mag in one hand and his weeny in the other. Not so different from Modern Man, are they?

A police officer in Anderson, Indiana, subscribed to several adult magazines and joined a CD club using the name of firefighter who is now married to the cop’s ex-wife. That’s it?! That’s the best revenge a cop could come up with? What about sticking some heroin evidence in the dude’s firefighter pants? What about having hookers sent over to the firehouse? Or tying a knot in his fire hose?

Speaking of cops, did you read the news story about the “pack of angry Chihuahuas that attacked a police officer? He was escorting a teen home after a traffic accident when the Chihuahuas went completely ballistic. If Chihuahuas can go ballistic, that is. The officer sustained minor bites to the ankle. I was once attacked by a old Weiner dog. It was a pathetic sight to see. He started charging--slowly trotting--after me and I pretended to fall--three times--so it could catch up to me and gum my ankle.

YAY. The Baby Boomers have banded together and voiced their opinions. Angry at being scorned by the people putting together the Super Bowl half time show, they protested about being excluded and the producers of the show have changed their minds. Don’t fuck with a Boomer!

Cheerleading injuries more than double. Research indicates cheerleading injuries more than doubled from 1990 through 2002, while participation grew just 18 percent over the same period. You know why, don’t you? Fat cheerleaders. You always want to put them at the bottom of the pyramid.

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