Friday, December 30, 2005

then He smiled at me pa rum pa pa pum

Eric sends this;):
INFANT DISCOVERED IN BARN, CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES LAUNCH PROBE
Nazareth Carpenter Being Held On Charges Involving Underage Mother

Bethlehem, Roman-occupied Judea – Authorities were today alerted by a
concerned citizen who noticed a family living in a barn. Upon arrival,
Family Protective Services personnel, accompanied by police, took into
protective care an infant child named Jesus, who had been wrapped in
strips of cloth and placed in a feeding trough by his 14-year old
mother, Mary of Nazareth.

During the confrontation, a man identified as Joseph, also of Nazareth,
attempted to stop the social workers. Joseph, aided by several local
shepherds and some unidentified foreigners, tried to forestall efforts
to take the child, but was restrained by the police.

Also being held for questioning are three foreigners who claim to be
wise men from an eastern country. The INS and Homeland Security
officials are seeking information about these, who may be in the country
illegally. A source with the INS states that they had no passports, but
were in possession of gold and other possibly illegal substances. They
resisted arrest, saying that they had been warned by God to avoid
officials in Jerusalem and to return quickly to their own country. The
chemical substances in their possession will be tested.

The owner of the barn is also being held for questioning. The manager of
the Bethlehem Inn faces possible revocation of his license for violating
health and safety regulations by allowing people to stay in the stable.
Civil authorities are also investigating the zoning violations involved
in maintaining livestock in a commercially-zoned district.

The location of the minor child will not be released, and the prospect
for a quick resolution to this case is doubtful. Asked about when Jesus
would be returned to his mother, a Child Protective Service spokesperson
said, "The father is middle-aged and the mother definitely underage. We
are checking with officials in Nazareth to determine what their legal
relationship is.

Joseph has admitted taking Mary from her home in Nazareth because of a
census requirement. However, because she was obviously pregnant when
they left, investigators are looking into other reasons for their
departure.

Joseph is being held without bond on charges of molestation, kidnapping,
child endangerment, and statutory rape.
Mary was taken to the Bethlehem General Hospital where she is being
examined by doctors. Charges may also be filed against her for
endangerment. She will also undergo psychiatric evaluation because of
her claim that she is a virgin and that the child is from God.
The director of the psychiatric wing said, "I don't profess to have the
right to tell people what to believe, but when their beliefs adversely
affect the safety and well-being of others – in this case her child
– we must consider her a danger to others. The unidentified drugs at
the scene didn't help her case, but I'm confidant that with the proper
therapy regimen we can get her back on her feet."

A spokesperson for the governor's office said, "Who knows what was going
through their heads? But regardless, their treatment of the child was
inexcusable, and the involvement of these others frightening. There is
much we don't know about this case, but for the sake of the child and
the public, you can be assured that we will pursue this matter to the
end."

1 comment:

onewetleg said...

HI-larious! Thanks for making me laugh this morning.