Friday, December 16, 2005

let it snow let it snow let it snow

Bugzzz writes: "RE: Sniffing chocolate....
I don't eat chocolate that much, but when I do eat it...I want to know what
the heck I'm eating....Buy a box of Whitmans.....they have "seating charts". "
WHAAA??!! You "don't eat chocolate that much"??? You think ya know somebody and then
ya just find out they're a strange rarely eating chocolate nutjob!!
You're forgiven.....

Proving once again that scientists aren't nearly as busy and scientific as they claim to be, a group of them figured out why the Mona Lisa smiles.
Or to be more precise, how *much* of her smile is really due to happiness. 83% is due to happiness,
the rest is due to the burrito she ate right before the sitting. Hard to believe scientists can't find a cure for the bird flu, isn't it?

The romance novel was ok, except the guys kept yelling "Boo yeah" every five seconds. Do black people really say that? For that matter, does anyone outside of 1999 say that?

Lisa posted the following in my LJ and it was just too funny not to repost here.
It concerned my comments about calling a trailer court, an "outdoor resort,":

"Florida is the home of the trailer park. They have many names for
them here. We have "Retirement Villages", "Manufactured Home Communities",
"Mobile Home Parks" (they can't bring themselves to call them Trailer
Parks) and my personal favorite "Manufactured Mobile Home Luxury
Retirement Communities". The majority of our trailer parks have a
wide variety of activities available to their residents. They are mostly
geared towards retirees who can't afford a condo on the water. In
place of the hog roasting pit or fire barrel they provide "grilling and
picnicing areas", in place of the horse shoe pits they provide
"shuffle board courts", in place of the fishin' hole they provide "swimming
pools" and in place of the local watering hole they provide "community
centers" complete with a full liquor bar and all the bingo you can play. And
believe it or not they even have paved roads! Now don't get me wrong,
we do have some of the more traditional trailer parks here in Florida.
One in particular is called Sun Coast and local residents loving refer to
it as Scum Coast. Now this is reminiscent of the more traditional
trailer park. It has all the required features that a true trailer park
connoissuer has come to expect and even relish. Sun Coast comes fully
equipped with the off named convient store. Instead of 7-11 it's
called Lucky 7. It comes equipped with mongrel dogs, bon fire pits,
stategically placed used and rusted appliances adorn the front decks, rusted out
autos on concrete blocks lovingly decorate the lawns and many of the homes
contain residents who are not only married but blood relations. On
any given day you can drive through the park at a safe speed of around
120 mph and hear the sweet strumming of the soundtrack from Deliverance
(Dueling Banjos) and of course at every corner should you have an
illness medication (both home grown and manufactured) is available at
discount prices. They have neighborhood hostesses on many corners who for $10
will arrange you a date and ensure you have a good time during your visit.
Ah, the good old fashioned trailer park. You've just got to love it."

Hmmm, for some odd reason I have a hanker' for a hog samwich come lunchtime...
I'm jealous. We don't have any of those things in our court except for the home based pharmaceutical companies and the 'ho's(tesses).
Oh and the rusted out appliances
on the front lawn cuz they come standard with all trailers now. My friend Myrtle bought a trailer last month and got two used
refrigerators AND a burned out stove absolutely FREE with her purchase. Damn. Talk about lucky.
I am this moment drafting an amendment to our Mobile Home(?)Owners Association Handbook to change the
name of our beloved Slim Pickens Trailer Court to the Slim Pickens Manufacutured Mobile Homes Luxury Outdoor Resort.

Right now I must phone with the Hoveround people.
They still haven't made arrangements to pick up my chair and repair it. I'm so upset, right now I'm just sitting in it and weeping softly as I type.
And trust me when I say tears really fuck up a laptop keyboard.

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