Tuesday, December 20, 2005

curly haired dolls that coddle and coo

Well I was ready for the overtime hog this time when she called me. Remember I told you about filling in
for her a few weeks ago and she left me a list of shit I had to do? Well she asked me to come in for her on the Monday
after Christmas, and she called back today and said, "Will you do xxxx on Monday?" I said, "No, I'll leave that for you to do on Tuesday when
you come back to work." She said, "But that's when I always do it." I said, "Well, you'll be doing it on Tuesday next week."
Mr. G said, "If she calls you about this again, nicely suggest that perhaps she should come in on Monday
and do it herself if she's worried about it, and you can work on Tuesday for her instead."
Gosh I heart the way my man thinks.

Yesterday when I talked about the song "Live Like You're Dying," Zal said, " I live like there's only 1 beer left in the fridge."

I had the weirdest dream last night. I was at this committee meeting with South and Tim Case. I was a student--and no, I wasn't younger, I was my current age--and I wanted to apply for some sort of transfer closer to the school and they were on the committee to approve it. The one guy said to me, "Where are you living now?"and I told him the name of my city. Immediately South said, "Oh? You live in *****? Then you probably know--" And I interrupted him and said, "DON'T ASK!" Then Tim Case said, "Why do you want to move?" And I told him it would be easier for me to catch the bus at this newer location.
Again, South says, "Do you know--" and I'm like "DON'T ASK!" It's strange though because dreams feel so real and it's like you're sitting there and they're sitting there sounding the way they really sound--yes, South has a goofy accent in my dreams, too. I'm guessing Tim Case was there cuz I felt bad about the comment I made about him not wearing his shirt in the South Pole Boogie Vid, but DAMN IT!! I can't see refusing to get me COP PICS in Vegas!!!!

Lord, the pressures of being an award winning blog writer continue to mount.
Every night between now and next December,
I'll have to pray to God (or offer up (down?) some sort of bloody sacrifice to the debil)
that South doesn't get a literate girlfriend who likes to write.
If he does, I'll lose that "funniest blog" award in a heartbeat.
Luckily for me, those never seem to be the "attibutes" he's looking for.

Speaking of my "funniest blog" award, Bugzzz writes: "Wow....the 23rd year.....that's longer than I've been alive.....hehehe."
Ok ok, maybe I exaggerated a bit there. It's only been 22 years.

In the current issue of Ladie's Home Journal, which I will read when extremely bored,
Dr Phil said this about marriage in which a man might feel threatened by the fact that his wife earns more than he does:
"In a healthy marriage the woman is able to say, 'No, I don't need your money. I don't need your financial support,
I don't need you to prop me up in life, but I do need your love and companionship."
What the hell is he thinking?! We don't NEED the money and we don't NEED the financial support, but we'll
take it just the same while spending all of our money on ourselves, thank you very much!" I don't care how he acts on
tv when he's by himself, when Dr. Phil is with his wife, you can tell he's whipped. And rightly so. He cheated on his first wife.
So the second wife has to keep him under her thumb to make sure he doesn't have time to stray. Don't blame her a'tall.

The "don't you fucking know who you're fucking talking to?!"award goes to Michelle Rodriquez, star of Lost.
After being arrested for alleged drunk driving yet again, she screamed, ""I don't (expletive) belong here! Why don't you just put a gun to my
head and shoot me! You've already taken my freedom! You might as well take my life too!" Not surprisingly, she's had several
traffic violations in the past, including one for driving 90 in a 35 mph zone, a hit and run, another drunken
driving incident and driving with a suspended license. Yes, CLEARLY the cops are to blame for her problems.

Have you heard that song "Live Like You're Dying," where the guy finds out he only has a short time to live?
His friend asked him what he did when he found out and he said he went skydiving.
If I found out I was dying, I think I'd do something exactly like that. I'd go to Pizza Hut and
order an extra large deep dish pizza and eat it ALL myself. Sure it's not like I haven't already done this
many times in the past, but this time I wouldn't worry that the fat and cholesterol might kill me.
Yep, it's almost exactly like skydiving.

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