Saturday, November 12, 2005

well we're out there having fun in the warm california sun

I'm writing another 12 gifts of Christmas article, so ladies, or guys,
if you've gotten a great gift,
let me know what it is so I can share it with others.
OR if there's a great gift you'd LIKE to get, send that along as well.
I have about five ideas already, but I'm open to your ideas as well.

If you like cats and you like to "torture" them in a FUNNY way--and no, that doesn't mean with guns or sporks--you'll love this. Strat sent me a link to this hysterical site. They're all funny. It's amazing what you can do to a comotose cat. I like the pic with the creative use of fruit pic.

Some people--Mr. G--think they are sooooo very clever. Pepsi products were on sale this week, 5 six packs for $10. I LOOOOOOOOOVE diet Pepsi, but needless to say, it doesn't love me. So I bought ONE diet pepsi 6 pack and the rest diet wild cherry pepsi, which I HATE, so I wouldn't be tempted beyond the six bottles. For some reason cherry and cola should NEVER go together in my book. It's like chocolate and cherry. ICK. Mr. G LOVES the cherry. So what does he do? While I'm at work he proceeds to drink up all the diet pepsi for himself, thus leaving another four six packs of that shitty diet cherry pepsi for....yeah...HIMSELF.

Phil Sheridan wrote an excellent article on the whole Terrell
Owens situation in the Miami Herald the other day.

"I'll take, 'what have I got to lose except my dignity and self respect' for $1000, Alex." Because I apparently have no shame, I have agreed to a "Jeopardy Off"
with El Cheapo, Maxxx Beaver's webdude. We aren't playing for
anything but the fun of it.
(That sentence probably just sent a chill up Mike South's spine.)Damn. I've never known a guy who is willing to play for the "fun" of anything.
They're always so damn competitive.

A tooth "BELIEVED TO BE" Napolean's was auctioned off for a cool $22k. I have an offspring here I BELIEVE TO BE the son of the Dali Lama. Wonder how much I can get for him? That's such bullshit though. They THINK the tooth was yanked from Napolean's mouth?? Why pay that much when you don't know? Why pay that much for a friggin' tooth while we're at it. Hell, some genius probably came across their grandma's baby teeth and sold it for $22k. The hysterical thing is that the tooth came with PAPERS. I know I keep a notarized document and pictures of all my teeth for when I become super famous. That will make it so much easier for the offspring to sell their Goddess memorabilia for drug money. Oh, and Nap's tooth also had a cavity in it, so apparently he didn't know the first thing about dental hygiene.

Headline from USA Today: "French Rioting Spurs British Haughtiness, Introspection." Do the Brits really need a reason to be haughty?
Aren't they pretty much haughty all the time?
Paraphrasing Cactus Jack, "They don't need a reason, just an opportunity."

OMG. I never realize how bad my fear of heights is until I'm forced to climb a ladder. Mr. G and I were thinking about insulating the attic--YES, my trailer has an attic, bite me. So Mr. G climbed up the ladder and said, "It's already insulated on the floor. See what you think." I'm like, "No, that's ok. If you think it's ok, it's fine by me." NEVER am I so agreeable as when I want to get out of doing something that tests my comfort zone. He said, "No, I want you to look." So I started up the ladder and my legs froze. I'm like, "That's it. I'm too high! I can't go any further." He said, "you're only on the FIRST step!" Took me five minutes but I got up to the fourth step, sweating the entire time.

Well Stupid cat has reached an all time stupidity low. I took some clothes
out of the dryer and left the door open while I folded the clothes.
I went outside for something and when I leaned over to close the
door, Stupid Cat popped her head out of the dryer.

I urge you all to email South and chastize him for his insensitivty to fat people and pigs everywhere. In yesterday's "update"--if you can call posting IM's an "update"--he was making fun of fat peole and pigs. Oh I emailed him and told him right. off.
(Okok, it was really just an excuse to slide in another reminder
for him to send me a CD he promised.)
While I'm on the subject of Mr. South, I noticed that Maxxx Beaver
got a copy of the South Pole Invasion while moi DID NOT! That's bullshit.
Maxxx never stalked him!
(Hello, Goddess, could that be why? Shut up, Goddess.)
In what universe does a Beaver
rate higher than a Goddess?! Apparently in Mr. South's universe!
Kudos to JimmyD, who wrote an EGGCELLENT piece on the vid.

The one segment I dislike on The Stephen Colbert Show is The Word. Now don't get me wrong, I think it's very funny, but it doesn't flow smoothly. Stephen will say one thing and there will be a funny bullet point to the right of him on the screen. So as he's starting to speak his next point, the audience gets the joke and begins to laugh, so he's constantly starting and then stopping for the laugh. They need to retool that segment. It's like trying to listening to the news while reading that idiotic ticker at the bottom of the screen at the same time.

Jay Leno is very generously donating 100% of the profits from his new book, "How to be The Funniest Kid in the Whole Wide World" to the "Concerns of Police Survivors, Inc.", a program which provides resources to surviving families of police officers killed in the line of duty.

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