Friday, November 11, 2005

the problem is all inside your head she said to me

Goddess' Hott Cop O'The Week award goes to: Officer Shane Webb,
of the Chattanooga, Tennessee Police Department.
That's a romance novel name for a cop if ever there was one.

Once again, let me state that I OFFICIALLY HATE FIREFOX!! This is the second time this has happened to me. I was working from my bookmark list and the computer was running slow, so I decided to close everything out and reboot. When I logged back on, ALL of my friggin' bookmarks were LOST. I would have invoked the Goddess/God of the Internet to make them reappear, but I didn't know who that was because I suck at mythology, remember?! Instead, I had to spend over 45 minutes going back through my history to get my bookmarks. I have my main ones, like the blogs I read daily and my site stats, but I've lost ALL of my smiley sites--YES, even the DIRTY ONES--and all of my clip art sites. If Santa brings me a new laptop, I'm not even downloading this shitty browser. FUCK YOU, FIREFOX!!!!

Speaking of Santa and my laptop, I just realized that if he brings it to me this Christmas, I'll be able to watch PORN dvds at work!! How COOL is that?! BTW, I'm still using VHS tapes. What the hell are PSP's?

Oh crap. Pat Robertson is wagging his finger and threatening dire consequences to the people of Dover, PA, who voted to oust the school board members who were in favor of "Intelligent Design." Robertson said they should not be surprised if disaster strikes, because "you just voted God out of your city." Now you just KNOW that if ANYTHING even REMOTELY upsetting happens in Dover from now till the end of time, Pat Robertson will be jumping up and down yelling, "Told ya so! Told ya so!"

Rob Corrdry is by far the best reporter on The Daily Show. Ed Helms is a very close second. Rob is hysterical, especially on political issues.

Let me just say that I LOVE SLEEPING IN MY UNCLE'S BED!!!! Ok, wait. Maybe that didn't come out the way I wanted it to. We finally moved the bedroom furniture out of my uncle's house and have it set up at our house. Female Offspring #1 is freaking out over the fact that Mr. G and I now have separate bedrooms. Hey, except for not cuddling when I'm cold, I'm loving it. We have sex in "his" room, then I go to "my" room and sleep without having to listen to him snoring. It's what long married couples do, I'm tellin' ya. My mom and dad don't sleep together and neither do two of my sisters and their hubbys. Like I said, I do miss the cuddling and the talking together early in the morning and late at night, but I can always yell through the wall. And I'll invite him to "spend the night" from time to time.

Paris Hilton's new bf smashed into another car while driving away from a restaurant with a coat over his head to avoid the media. Note to Paris Hilton's new bf: "There's a REASON people don't drive with jackets over their heads, asswipe."

I love it when WalMart kisses it's own ass about being such a service to the community and the people of this country. 46 percent of the children of Wal-Mart's 1.33 million United States employees are uninsured or on Medicaid. Then they implemented this new health care plan with--get this--a ONE THOUSAND DOLLAR deductible. But they were quick to add that the $1k deductible only kicked in after the third visit. Shit, I'd use my visits wisely, and I'd only use the second visit if I was 100% sure I'd die soon afterwards.

Ordered two new CD's and a new romance novel. I ordered James Blunt's Back to Bedlam and Madonna's new CD cuz I heard it was mostly dance music. I HEART dance music. I saw the video for her new song, and I must say it's a good thing she doesn't allow little impressionable Lourdes to watch tv. After all, what kid wants to see their mother grinding her crotch in some black guy's face? Madonna has DEFINITELY had some sort of plastic surgery. She looked older a year ago than she does now, no doubt due to the smoking, and now her skin is stretched as tight as a 21 yr old's with nary a wrinkle in sight. She's either had tons o'botox or lifts.
I also bought Heidi Betts' new book, When the Lights Go Down. Can't wait to get this order!

Terrell Owen's agent was giving a speech to the press yesterday and I caught a bit of it on the news. He stated that there were other players in the NFL who had done drugs and committed more serious offenses than Terrell and yet they weren't suffering the same severe punishment he was. It's downright sad, people, when your best defense is comparing yourself to people who have fucked up worse than you have.

Eric writes: "If I won $5 million in the lottery, I guess the first thing I'd buy
would be a printer, and the second thing a real computer to replace
this MSNTV unit.
Eric also says "nude window washers" sounds like "an urban legend to me."
Ok, Eric, you BETTER be reading through my archives cuz if my memory is so bad that I can't remember talking about these things in the last month or so, I'm gonna cry. Actually the nude window washer thing was a joke.

There's a site on the internet where people talk about Stephen Colbert and one of the pages is "Stephen Colbert Sightings." One person talked about seeing Stephen at CVS, another in the park and one person posted this: "Saw Stephen at work yesterday. Full disclosure: I am a graphics designer for the Colbert Report."

This is a q for somebody who knows something about country music: who is the dark haired chick on the KMart Christmas commercial singing, "I'll be home for the holidays..." I love that jingle.

No comments: