Monday, November 28, 2005

i dare you to move

This is my FIRST UPDATE using my NEW LAPTOP!! It looks better and hell it even SMELLS better!

A BIG THANKS TO MIKE SOUTH for helping me
set up my web program and getting all my files over to my new laptop.
It's so nice to be able to work on my updates on the new laptop.
(Did I mention the new laptop?)
Poor Mike. I always feel like I have to question everything cuz *I think* he thinks I know to skip
things or when things don't matter, but I don't. So now he's wising up.
He went through this line by line with me...
Never fear. I questioned him anyway. Sigh.

Ok I've been stalking guys for sometime now, so I'm a pro.
I know the ins and outs of the game. So if you plan to stalk ME,
Here are some rules you're going to have to follow:
1. Every email must include SOME HUMOR. Don't be harshing my mellow.
If you can make me laugh, I'm more likely to be hooked. If you bring me down
with end of the world predictions or "my pet rat died"
kind of stuff, ehhhhh not so likely to be hooked.
2. Yes, you may send me more than one email a day, but AGAIN,
only if it contains some humor!!
(See? That's a big sticking point with me.)
3. Don't bitch if I print your emails. You wouldn't be emailing me 20 times
a day if you didn't want me to lavish attention on you, which would
include printing your emails, so don't pretend otherwise.
4. NO JESUS FORWARDS!! I know He loves me. I've heard it a zillion times.
I don't need you (or any of my siblings) to remind me.
Let Jesus' actions speak for themselves.
5. While I'm on the subject, NO "BEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD" FORWARDS!! We both konw that if you're spending all your time stalking ME, you don't HAVE a best friend.
At least not one that has less than four legs.
6. Yes, I know I am damned to Hell for all eternity, I don't need you to remind me of *that* either, so NO "BORN AGAIN" STALKING!!!
I was born right the first time, and not unlike death, with birth, there are no "do overs".
7. NO ATTACHMENTS unless I know you!! And yes, that means emotional attachments as well as email atttachments, thank you very much.
Follow these simple guidelines aka RULES and we'll get along just fine.

Ok, kids, it's official! I designed and ordered Hott Cop magnetic buttons so now when a cop emails me about his "award," I'll send him the button! I'll show ya which artwork I used as soon as it arrives.
**Keeping my fingers crossed that it looks as nice on the button as it did on the internet**

Ya know, I never expected Sgt. Candelas to have such a good sense of humor. Officers RARELY say anything nice about their Sergeants, they usually talk smack about them, so I guess I expected him to be a...kind of a...well a...dick. It was great that he isn't.

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