Tuesday, November 08, 2005

the bubble headed bleach blonde comes on at five

Here's a couple really funny things I heard on Oprah yesterday: Kirstie Alley said she weighed 219 pounds at her highest weight. Uh huh and the Easter Bunny is my best friend. She pretended to be all shocked that she'd let herself go that badly. Perhaps had she said THREE hundred nineteen pounds I would have believed her because she's a big, tall woman. But 219? No way in Hell. Asked why she chose Jenny Craig, Kirstie replied that it had "worked for her" in the past. She said she called the company and explained that she wanted to do the program. Yeah sure and it had nothing to do with agreeing to lose weight in exchange for a huge sum of money and free food. Now she says being overweight was "a big stupid mistake I made." And yet just last summer she was in the women's mags saying that she was happier when she was fat and that's just the way things were. I thought it was hilarious when Kirstie said she threw away all her clothes after she lost the first FIFTEEN POUNDS. Puhleeze. Who does that? 15 pounds would hardly make much of a size difference.

Second funny thing I heard on Oprah yesterday. (And I KNEW the minute I heard about this it would either parlay into a magazine article or a book. Alas, it's already a book.) Some chick said she lost 23 pounds by having sex. I can see the suckers lining up to buy this piece o'crap book already. She said that she and her husband have sex eight times a week--that would explain the incredibly bored expression on his face throughout the entire interview. And that alongwithchanginghereatinghabits--a fact she glossed over several times--she lost 23 pounds by expending all those calories in physical activity. Ok give me a break. NOBODY has sex 8 times a week ALL THE TIME. That's pure bullshit manufactured to sell books....to desperate suckers. Anyone who has been part of a couple for any length of time will tell you that the sex varies. Sometimes you'll be fucking like bunnies, and sometimes you won't. Of course, after seeing this piece it prompted yet another round of "if these people can get their crap published, why can't you?" in my trailer. Sigh.

I finally got so disgusted hearing the one young news reporter (and I use those words lightly) on our local tv station talk about "early morning communers" that I emailed the station to bitch about it. So sue me. Some things just grate on my nerves.

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