Thursday, October 13, 2005

the story of love is quicker than the blink of an eye, the story of love is hello and goodbye

Oh GAWD what a day I had yesterday!!! I had a flat on my
Hoveround and I had to (GASP! ) WALK everywhere!!! Why does God hate me so?!

Bugs writes: "As for the chick with 16 kids, the Discovery channel did a documentary on her when she was ready to deliver the 15th. Lemme tell ya....I'm all for the family bond, but this family was creepy...I'm not even sure I can describe it. Everything was perfect.....all the kids were dressed like mini versions of thier parents, and all you saw them doing was chores and schoolwork. And the mom's voice.....sickeningly sweet with nary a care in the world. I didn't even want to keep watching it, but it was like the proverbial train wreck.....I couldn't tear my eyes away."
I saw it, too. When I first saw it I assumed she was the wife of a polygamist! (Seriously.)
Nay, just the wife of a state representative.
I kept waiting for her to SCREAM bloody murder about how they
were getting on her freaking nerves, or how she was dying for a cigarette or a good butt fucking (for a change),
but NOTHING!! Not one ill spoken word. What kind of mother is she? I can only
assume she was on drugs. Probably Vicodan or Darvocet. You know, the good stuff.

Only in our country. Land of the free, home of the GED. Yesterday on Family Feud
Richard Karn asked the question, "Name a U.S. President you would have
voted for had you been alive in their lifetime." And the lady replied, "Ben Franklin."

I don't get it. No matter how many different ways I say "no," to Mr. G when he asks me if I have any candy, he doesn't believe me. What gives? I have the "innocent" no, the "shocked" no, the "indignant" no and the "serious" no. He's always says the same thing when I say, "no." He says, "Ok, where is it?"

OUCH. Did you read about the guy in Britain who hung a huge banner on the freeway that read, "Wendy, I want a divorce. JBS." She retaliated with her own banner that read, "No way. You are the cheat. Wendy." One marriage counselor said the couple was acting "very immature" (One needs a degree to figure this out?) and suggested they get professional counseling. I have a better idea: how about they get a divorce?
I agree that it's immature, but I'm sure it livens up the ride home for a lot of folks.

Now that the PA powerball lotto is around $290 million dollars I bought my ticket. If I win, it'll be "SCREW YOU, PEOPLE!!! You never sent me emails, you rarely gave me encouragement of any kind--good OR bad, (yes! you were even too lazy to tell me I sucked!) and you never contributed a lousy penny to my laptop fund!!!" If I lose, well you'll know if I lose, cuz I 'll just continue to update regularly. In other words, my posting won't be interrupted by a long vacation in Fiji.I was at my mother's when they mentioned the jackpot on the news and I said, "Wow. Can y ou imagine winning $290 million?" thinking of ALL the possibilites.
And she said, "Yes. Your life would be ruined." Yep. That's my mom.
Always looking on the bright side of life.

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