Monday, September 05, 2005

seven oceans pummel the shores of the sea

During the hurricane coverage from New Aw'lens, there was one bright spot. I got a kick out of the one dude's boat, which landed safely amidst the rubble. It was named Luna Sea. Indeed it was. Very clever.
I also read that when the electricity was turned on in Hattiesburg, Mississip, a man in the parking lot of the Hawthorn Suites holding a coffee pot filled with rum and coke shouted, "Yeah baby! Yeah baby! We got power!"
Hell, I didn't even know Zal was in Mississippi....................

Ahhh family days. Don't cha just love 'em? I played Candyland with the offspring on Sunday. Several (hundred) games, of course, because as I've stated before Candyland to preschoolers is like crack to a 'ho. The sad thing is that I cheat. There. I've said it. I try to whip the card out, read it aloud and slap it back under the pile without ever showing it to my "opponent." (If one can call a small child an "opponent.") I mentally count ahead and say I have two blues, even though I only have one. I should feel horribly guilty, but alas, I don't. One game was horrifically boring (ok they're all boring, but it was boring-er than most) when I got bogged down in Molasses Swamp and no sooner did I work my way out of there than I got stuck in the Gooey Gumdrops. Oh the agony. I got so desperate at one point, that I asked Female Offspring #8 to "run into the computer room and get Mommy a pen" while I quickly removed all the picture cards, leaving only the colored squares. (Anything other than the colored squares can send you backwards, plunging you into an awful nightmarish game that never seems to end.) There was a particularly tense moment when SOMEBODY insisted on being Snowflake Queen Frostine and threatened to quit if she wasn't allowed to retain the title. Don't even go there with me. I am Snowflake Queen Frostine or we aren't playing!!
When my gf called and asked what we were doing and I told her, she said, "I enjoyed playing Candyland as a child." I said, "Hey, I enjoyed playing Stefanie Powers and the Girl From U.N.C.L.E. as a child, but that doesn't mean I want to play it now." Although, the secret decoder/camera/microphone compact WAS rather cool, even though it was just an old Cover Girl compact my mother got rid of. There were a few times it even doubled as a bomb. Uh huh. I was just that clever. If I had thought to add text messaging capabilities to that compact, I would really have been ahead of my time.

We took the offspring to the county fair Sunday afternoon but had to leave early because I got really emotional. We were walking past the 4-H section, and in particular the cattle pens, when I suddenly flashed back to the time I lost the title of Miss Guernsey. I was runner up. Gawd, I wanted that title so badly, but the competition was fierce. I know I lost ONLY because the winner had bigger tits than I did.


I saw City of Angels again last night. I never realized how creepy Nicholas Cage was the first time I saw it. First time around, I thought he was really charming and sweet. Now I see him for the stalker angel that he was. Face it. He kept showing up everywhere she was, leaving books for her and acting all coweyed over her. (Speaking of coweyes, I think Nicholas Cage has a thyroid problem. His eyes bug out too much.) He even watched her sleep. How freaky is that? Yep, if it weren't for those wings and his connection with the Big Guy Upstairs, she would have been forced to go restraining order on his ass.

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