Thursday, September 15, 2005

i got a bad desire

Hmm, I find that if I skip over the people on my favorites list that never update, I have like 15 extra minutes in the morning. I always fall victim to the hope that TODAY will be different, TODAY they will post!!! But, alas, they don't.

I see that some pharmacies in Canada are going to carry medical marijuana. C.P. asked me if having 16 offspring qualified me for medical marijuana. I told him that having 16 offspring qualifies me to be walking around with a xanax/valium drip 24/7/365. Screw that piddly marjiuana. I need the hard stuff!!!

Ya know, I think it would be rather cool if we could walk around with our own personal theme music. If so, I'd pick something from Herb Alpert & the Tijuana Brass. The Mexican Shuffle to be exact. It is SO ME. I can just see me walking down the street with that playing in the background, the wind in my hair, my 44 D's bouncing along with the trumpet music and the friction of my thighs causing sparks to fly off my spandex pants. What a glorious visual.
For those of you who are too young to know who Herb Alpert is, or who only know him from the duet he sang with Janet Jackson, let me just say: YOU SUCK.
But seriously, Herb's music is upbeat and lively, and I think it would "describe" me nicely.
When I was younger, my dad used to make us listen to Herb Alpert and polka music all the time.
No wonder I'm screwed in the head. Oh we had Herbs Christmas album, his greatest hits 1 & 2, Whipped Cream and Other Delights, along with several others. As a matter of fact, Dad just bought Herb's Classics Volume 20. The scary thing is that he has a version of Maniac, from Flashdance on it. OY!!

John Roberts pissed off Ted Kennedy yesterday when he refused to answer the question, "Who put the "ram" in the rama-lama-ding-dong. Roberts refrained from answering on the grounds that this matter might come before the Supreme Court in the future.

I was walking down the street from the mailbox yesterday afternoon and a lawn dude working at the neighbors stopped me and asked me if I'd like to have my yard fertilized. I said, "No, thanks. The dog has that covered. AND she does it for free!"

I walked in to talk to my boss yesterday morning, and she had FOX news on--yeah that was a head banger in and of itself, but as the news anchor was ending the segment he said, "Stay tuned to FOX, the most important name in news." According to whom??? This is the same sort of crap they tried to pull before when they used to add, "FOX, the most trusted name in news." SAYS WHO?? The sad thing is that somebody gets paid to make up these bogus claims.

I read that a guy in England ran out of his house naked and gave chase in his truck because horse thieves were making off with his $45,000 horse trailer and I thought, "FORTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR HORSE TRAILER?? **My** trailer only cost $299.99. Actually, less than that. It was a BOGO. Buy one, get one hauled off to the junk yard for free. What could the horses possibly have in that trailer that I don't have? I mean, besides air conditioning, DSL and horse porn. Oh wait, I have horse porn.

Go here to see a slide show of some of the animals that have been rescued by the HSUS in New Orleans.

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