Tuesday, September 20, 2005

free with proof of purchase

Ok, people, tell me
what this looks like to you:   \*/

Lordy, I CAN'T WAIT FOR OCTOBER so I can drag out all my favorite
Halloweenie gifs and clip art. And you people KNOW how I heart Halloween,
despite the fact that Curious cited me for
excessive use of Halloween gifs a few years back.
This October's journal page promises to be better than ever.

Ok, I'm totally caught up on all my COPS eps now. I was three or four tapes behind. I love the way people keep proving me right about the number
one thing I've learned from watching COPS: " Never admit the truth. When you're caught in a lie, keep on lying. If you pile lie upon lie, you're bound to work your way out of it."
A police officer chased a stolen car and when they finally caught the driver,
the officer mentioned that the car was stolen.
Driver: "It's not stolen."
(Ok right off this is comical because the cop has already run the plate
and the car has already been reported stolen.
So once the cop uses the words "stolen car," give it up, people.)
Cop: "We both know that car is stolen. How did you start it?"
Driver: "With the key."
Cop: "There are no keys in the ignition."
Driver: "They fell on the floor during the chase."
Cop: "Explain this to me, if they fell on the floor, why is the car still running?"
Driver: "Obviously it's stolen."
If nothing else, COPS is really good for comic relief.
There was one guy on Sunday night's show, who was arrested while running around in a yellow g-string. Now this is the funny part--well only funny because I'm not a guy with my delicate genitals hanging out. The cops had him face down in the dirt, and he was partially behind a fence. The one cop said, "We'll just pull him out of there."
And they dragged him on his bare belly--and scantily covered genitals--for a few feet.
Can you say, "OWIE?"
It was comical, too, when the cop called in to report that they had arrested him. He's like,
"We're 61 with the naked guy," and you heard the dispatcher
say, "61 with the naked guy," like "the naked guy" was the suspect's name.
Then the one cop said, "Well I guess he's not concealing any weapons."

Ya know, once that carrot cake sat in the garbage
a few hours, it tasted pretty damn good.
(Not really. It still sucked...only this time I was desperate for sugar.)

My webPIMP's url....sigh.

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