Friday, September 16, 2005

because of you i'm ashamed of my life because it's empty

MY NEW JERSEY COPS CALENDAR CAME!!!! (And so did I...)
Whooo hoooooo! Is there some kind of law that states that all police officers named Perez have to be hott? First Officer Joey Perez, and now Officer Mike Perez. And let me just say to
Officer Mike Perez of Stafford Township, that I can't WAIT for November 2006!!
And to Linden police Officer Eric Calleja....
Here's a pic of all the men (and woman ) who appear on the calendar.
For next year's calendar, I suggest they LOSE THE SHORTS!! Too distracting.
Again a big thanks to Alex for telling me about the calendar and the best part of all is that it benefits the Special Olympics, which is the one charity that is near and dear to my heart, and the one I give to faithfully.
It's not too late for you to get your own copy.
And support a very good cause. Jilling material galore, gals.

Mr G got his first look at the calendar--couldn't miss it because it's "well hung"
right above the computer.
Mr G: "Where did THAT come from?!"
Me: "Honey, it's a calendar. For the new year," and I said that as if it explained everything. Then when I continued to get "the frown", I quickly added. "And great news! It benefits Special Olympics!!"
Mr. G: " Yeah, I'm sure that's who it's going to benefit." (hmm I was sensing some sarcasm here)
"If it's a calender, why do you have it there? You can't even SEE the dates. All you can see are the guys."
Me: "Really? Hadn't noticed. But if you really need to see dates,
check out the puppy calendar on the wall behind me."
But trust me, I know how to play this off for my own good. I gave him GREAT HEAD last night and I said, "See, honey? It pays to have pics of half naked men around!"

I'm majorly pissed about this whole computer thing. Remember I ordered what I THOUGHT was a fully loaded laptop, only to find out that it was nothing more than a $522 laptop case? Well, now the company is refusing to take it back. First I contacted the Better Business Bureau and filed a complaint and today I sent my credit card company on them and put the amount in dispute. I am NOT keeping this PIECE OF SHIT. They said once the package is opened on an ASUS computer, you can't return it. I don't know why. Not like I could actually USE the damn thing. They're the ones that sold it to me and falsely advertised it, they can take it back and deal with ASUS themselves
What really made me mad was when I contacted my credit card company when I first encountered problems, and they're like, "Well, lets just wait and see what they're going to do." Naturally, since I was paying interest on the amount. What did they care? Had that been my credit union credit card they would have been all over that computer company PRONTO. I'm ditching Citi Bank as soon as I can.

OMG. I bought some of the finest Belgian chocolate last night. And I KNOW it was really good because I paid $1 for only SEVEN OUNCES at Dollar General.

I'm going to be really busy at the rendering plant when I go back to work next week. I see road kill everywhere. Especially ground hogs. And they're all in that "I surrender" pose. Apparently the only animal who can safely cross the road is the chicken.

Zellweiger's already broken up with her old man after only four months? And she listed 'fraud" as the reason?
(In divorce lingo, fraud means "deception regarding a significant matter that led to the marriage and continued until the breakup.")
Ouch. How bout good old "irreconcilable differences"?
She's very quick to point out that it doesn't indicate anything about Kenny's character. And their reps added, "The miscommunication of the objective of their marriage at the start is the only reason for this annulment."
Miscommunication of the objective of their marriage? What kind of Hollywood double talk is that? What's the objective of most marriages? To freaking STAY married. And if they were so worried about the press as stated, why DIDN'T they just say "irreconcilable differences"? It's all veddy, veddy strange to me. Apparently Kenny isn't too keen on committment. He broke off his engagment in 1999 three weeks before the wedding. Hmm, wonder if it has something to do with Renee? I just find it odd especially when that the whole underweight thing came up so quickly after her marriage began.

Ok I'm pissed at Holly. I bought her a bag of Chicken Jerky Tenders. They're really THIN strips SUPPOSEDLY made of "3/4 pound of fresh chicken." Please. Our chicken isn't even made of real chicken. I gave her one and she ate it in like two seconds and was back for another one. I'm like , "Knock it off! I paid $2.97 a bag for those damn things. Don't eat them so fast. Suck on them or something, but MAKE THEM LAST!!"


The long absent Bugs writes: " I have elderly relatives that leave out the word "people". They just say "The Black". Actually, they don't say it.....they *whisper* it. Everytime they do, I just want to smash thier faces in."
Hey, at least your relatives have the decency--if you want to call it that--to whisper. Mine say it right out loud and you know how loud old people talk. UGH. Good to hear from ya.

Once again I sewed the head back onto Holly's "puppy," which as I've explained before is a slipper with the head of a Husky dog on it. When you give it to her, she grabs it in her teeth and thrashes it around. After watching her, do this, Mr. G said, "Why do I get the feeling that's what she'd do to the cats if she could get her paws on them?"

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