Sunday, August 14, 2005

speaking strictly for me we both could have died then and there

Since my DNS hasn't propagated I shall update over here for now. (And yes, that's dirty talk for you computer nerds.) If you've sent me an email in the last 24 hours or so, resend because of the whole dns propagating thingy.

Ok I couldn't resist posting this one for the ladies.
If you're a butt fan and a cop fan,
this link is for you
That's right. Pics of COPS ASSES!!!
And I don't mean their donkeys either.
Even more hot cop ass

Well now I've seen it all. I now know that if I ever get bored or just don't feel like updating about how I don't want to update, I can always post a pic of a bouquet of flowers and THAT will count as an update.
http://www.mikesouth.com/index.htm
Hmm, I just found a picture of a pile of Holly's doo doo in the backyard...
*rubs chin thoughtfully*

I am now collecting short stories for my new book, "How To Make Money Without Even Trying." Please submit your true stories of how YOU made money without even trying, so I can publish them and make money...without even trying.

A big "hi de ho" to all my New Zealander readers--and I know I have a bunch.
Will somebody please tell me what a git is? I don't know what it is, but I'm sure it's not complimentary.

A thought occurred to me yesterday while watching Dora the Explorer.
I wonder how Dora lucked into such a cool job?
I'd like to get one of those tv explorer jobs for myself. Speaking of Dora, it was bad enough when I had to see the CBS or ABC logo in the corner of my screen, but during Dora they had the CBS logo, the Nick Jr. logo AND the E/I logo...and I have no idea what that last one even is. Puhleeze, tv execs, do you think you could clutter up the bottom of our screens a tad more? Maybe run a continual advertisement for tampons or douches?

I fear Beater is falling prey to what I refer to as "Sexy Friend Syndrome," NOT to be confused with "Hot Nanny Syndrome," which is what Jude Law and Robin Williams suckered for. Beater has been talking about how his new girlfriend thinks Tim Case is hot and NOW he's going to show her pics of South. Is the boy CRAZY OR WHAT?!
"Sexy Friend Syndrome" is simply this: DON'T HANG AROUND WITH SAME SEX FRIENDS WHO ARE SEXIER THAN YOU ARE!!! I'm NOT saying that Tim Case is hotter than Beater, cuz we all know Beater's hot, too, I'm simply saying that when your gf is dumb enough(?) (naive enough?) to let you know that she thinks one of your guy friends is a hunka hunka burnin' love nothing good can come of it. For YOU, anyway. Danger, Will Robinson, danger.
I reiterate, you always want to hang out with same sex friends
who are ugly (-ier than you are) because if you don't--and ladies, back me on this, you KNOW it's true--if YOU are the ugly one, sooner or later you will get sick & tired of sitting there watching them get hit on all the time while your hottest dates are with your vibrator. Oh sure, you'll laugh and you'll ACT like you think it's cute as you nurse your drink and watch your gf get all the action, but inside you'll want to grind your liquor glass into her forehead.
And yes, I realize that for some of my friends reading this, *I* am that ugly friend. To this I say, BITE ME!! I love you guys!

Gawd, I wish they'd stop putting those stupid little stickers on every piece of fruit. If I eat ONE MORE OF THEM by mistake, I'm gonna scream.

I finally got to see Real L.A.P.D. and Real Miami Cops yesterday afternoon, as the Discovery Channel was running several back to back eps of each. Real L.A.P.D. has THEE WORST background music--if you can call it that without breaking a rib laughing. When they're trying to make the scenes seem more suspenseful, they have like three notes of music that they play that just keep getting higher and higher and louder and louder. UGH.
Beethovan should have been so lazy.
They were doing an undercover operation on Real L.A.P.D. and they had one male officer hang out along a certain stretch of road where male prostitues were often found. One male 'tute started to follow after the undercover officer, then changed his mind and turned back around to his car. Another cop watching the scene started laughing and said, "He needs to walk a little sexier, I think."

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