Sunday, August 07, 2005

hey y'all prepare yourself for the rubberband man

Goddess' Hot(t) Deputy O' The Week Award goes to: Sgt. Brian Witt of the Pierce County Sheriff's Department, South Hill Precinct. As always there is no monetary value to the award, just the joy that comes from knowing YOU. ARE. A. HOTTIE!!

I can't help it. That Pittsburgh COPS ep makes me laugh everytime I see it. I should know, I've seen it about five times now. It shouldn't make me laugh, but I'm a sicko, what can I say? A guy is threatening to jump from the 6th Street Bridge and you can almost hear the cops thinking,
"Jump, damn it! It'll make for a GREAT episode!! Much better than that whole "lecturing the prostitute segment" they already filmed."
His sister, complete with horrible "Picksburgh" accent and all, is standing on the ground yelling, "I love you, Charles! Mom loves you, Charles!" as she goes through this litany of names, apparently relatives of JumperCharles'. If that was me on the bridge, my sister would be, "I love you! Mom loves--weeeeell not so much Mom, and to be perfectly honest you've been getting on my nerves big time lately, too."

Last weekend, a young woman who lived across the street from my parents hung herself in the backyard. I knew her in-laws very well from church and I knew her husband. She had a 4 year old daughter and was pregnant again. According to the paramedics who were at the scene, she argued with her husband then went outside to 'cool off', and she ended up hanging herself instead. I'm sure anyone who reads my site regularly knows that I live in a small town, the largest city closest to me has a population of 6k, so my 'burb is small. As so often happens in a small town, when someone commits suicide, their name is mentioned in the paper under the death notices, but the family doesn't have an indepth write up about them. [A simple "died at home" is all that's necessary in the obit.] I don't know why this is, but I think a lot of it is shame on the part of the family, for whatever reason, and the hope that no one will find out "how" their loved one died. Kind of the "if we don't talk about it, it will go away" attitude. Unfortunately, the whole neighborhood (and then some) usually knows the same day. I saw this girl's mother-in-law at the store yesterday and I told her how sorry I was to hear about her daughter-in-law's death and when she started to "Well...she...um.." I immediately stated that she lived near my mother, and asked about the grand daughter so that she didn't feel like she had to explain because I already knew. I asked if the funeral was going to be held at our church because there was no obit in the paper and she said, "Oh no, the family doesn't want anyone to know." As I walked out of the store, I kept thinking how sad that attitude was. Here was a woman who had 24 years of accomplishments and they wouldn't even be acknowledged at the end, simply because of the way she died. It doesn't seem quite fair to her.

I saw this card at the store and it IMMEDIATELY made me
think of Zal, and I don't know if that's good or bad....
"I watched an ant climb a blade of grass this morning. When he reached the top, his weight bent the blade down to the ground. Then, twisting his thorax with insectile precision, he grabbed hold of the next blade. In this manner, he traveled across the lawn, covering as much distance vertically as he did horizontally, which amused and delighted me. And then, all at once, I had what is sometimes called an "epiphany," a moment of heightened awareness in which everything becomes clear. Yes, hunched over that ant on my hands and knees, I suddenly knew what I had to do........................quit drinking before noon."

Today is the first day of the used book sale at the library. It runs all month so I'm planning to zip down there on Monday. It's a small community library, but they get TONS of NEW romance novels at these sales. I'd go today, but like I said, it's a small library--one room--so I'll wait and hit it up on Monday, when it's usually pretty quiet.

That's it. I'm not growing diddly next year except for zucchini. I've thrown away about six tomatoes already and they're not even ripe yet! They're green but they have black asses!! I don't remember this shit happening when I was at home and we canned 80 bachillion jars of spaghetti sauce and tomato juice. Oh, how I would have LOVED a tomato blight back then! Ok South told me I have Blossom End Rot. Sigh. I thought I just had a big ass. Turns out I have both. Anywho, I looked it up on the 'net and it says that comes from not watering the plants evenly--too wet then too dry. Growing stuff is too complicated.

Martha Stewart's home confinement was extended for three more weeks. Apparently Ms. Thang violated the terms of her home confinement, the only exceptions of which are "48 hours a week of employment, food shopping, doctor appointments and church." The press is speculating that perhaps Martha attending yoga classes and riding an off road vehicle around her estate is what got her ass in trouble. I think home confinement is a LUXURY that many people in jail for petty crimes would be thrilled to have, and if some ungrateful schmuck fucks it up they should be sent back to jail to serve out the remaining time on their extension. Celebrities included.
It just proves that Martha is still very smug about her celebrity and in her thinking that it places her above the law. I sense she's being pious with her "I've learned so much from being in jail" bullshit so she can sell her upcoming book. Obviously she hasn't learned a whole hell of a lot.

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