Monday, July 11, 2005

the waters rising and i'm going under

For the last several years, I have been intelligent enough to drink ONLY WATER, with an occasional glass of brewed ice tea as a "treat." Well, it became incredibly hot here the last few weeks and I got on a diet pepsi kick. HUGE MISTAKE. I KNEW BETTER. I am stiff and achy in places I haven't been stiff and achy in since I stopped drinking this garbage years ago. NO MORE. That artificial sweetener is TOXIC. Back to water. YAY!

Speaking of being stiff and achy, if you'd like to use something more natural on your aches, instead of Ben Gay which is stinky and smelly, try Arnica gel. It's toxic if taken internally, but it's excellent for bruises and swelling and arthritis pain. It's natural AND it really works.

Stuey (to Meg, his teenage sister, who is babysitting him): "You know, Meg, if you kill yourself now, you'll get a full page in the yearbook."
(Family Guy)

Goddess' Second Hott Cop O'The Week Award goes to: Sgt. Greg Noll of the Fresno, California PD. Whoa. There were SEVERAL hott officers on Saturday night's show. Fresno seems to be THEE place to get arrested.

Ya know the more I thought about it, Richard Freeman being born in Philadelphia but living a good deal of his adulthood in Ohio would make him more of an Ohiodelphian, than an Ohioite.

Damn. Just when you think you've heard it all.

What kind of guy in his right mind
would sign a paper saying he'd been unfaithful?! Especially someone in his line of work! You'd think he'd know better than anyone how physical evidence has a way of coming back to bite you in the ass.

Ya know I think my whole cake scheme to get the cake monkey off my back would have worked had Mr. G not interferred. There I was stuffing my face with cake in an effort to purge myself of the craving and he walks past--EATING A HUGE PIECE OF CAKE!!
I'm like, "HEY! That's MY cake and it's MY plan! What gives?!"
He said, "I was hungry and it looked pretty good."
Well, cry me a river....of cake, damn it!!

Di sent this joke. I love it.
While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication,
Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,
"It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."
He addressed the man,
"Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"
Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

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