Friday, July 08, 2005

quarter to four in the morning

OMG! IS IT CHRISTMAS??? Because I feel like
I've just gotten THEE BEST PRESENT EVER!!
(No, NOT the laptop. Shut the hell up about that, would ya?!)
If you love cops, and you love calendars, and you love cops ON calendars, check this out!! calendarcops.com
And YES! I have already reserved one for MYSELF!!!
New jilling material for 14 MONTHS!!
Thanks to Alex, our favorite dirty poet, for sending me the link!!

Check out those beautiful puppies on AVN's blog. (avn.com/blog) And when I say "puppies," I'm referring to the four legged ones, not the two hanging out over to the right of the pic. I'm wondering though, if flashing your tits like that in a pic helps you get homes for your "puppies" any sooner??

HA. HA. HA. And you guys think Asian chicks are so damn hot in bed. A report out of Bejing says that the "Chinese are more ignorant about sex than any other subject."
"More Chinese are ignorant about sex than about other knowledge, even including those having received higher education and experts of other fields," says Xu Tianming, president of the China Sexology Society
Take THAT , guys, for dissing us American chicks!!

Today I took a few moments and tape recorded the line, "Just LET ME HAVE THE DAMN BALL ALREADY and I'll be HAPPY to throw it for you!!" in an effort to save my tonsils. I also recorded, "NOOOO!" And, "I SAID NO! DAMN IT!"
Along with "Does that belong to you?! NO IT DOES NOT!" Sigh.
Fortunately, I can use three of those four lines on my offspring so it was worth the trouble.

If anybody was well versed in the Drew Carey show,
can ya drop me a line? I have a question.

Have you seen those commercials for "Jergens Natural Glow Daily Moisturizer"? It promises to "create a healthy, summer glow all year long just by moisturizing." DON'T SUCKER, PEOPLE!! It's nothing more than one of those damn tanning lotions that leave you with orange elbows. Sigh. I should know.
**going to wash off my orange elbows**

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