Thursday, July 28, 2005

i did it guilty as charged

Wow. July 2005 is shaping up to be one of my best months EVER stat wise.
Whoa. If this keeps up, I'll end up using FIVE whole KB of bandwidth this month!!!!
(yeeeees, that's sarcasm)

Crickett writes: I'm sad to have to inform you House Of Pies does
indeed have "other" food on the menu. Non-pie food.
From what I've heard, the quality of said food is inferior to the
quality of the pies. Having had the pie and knowing that it is indeed
delicious, I highly doubt that I will be ordering from the other
sections of the menu. It seems to be the place where a good portion of
the clientele is Older People who fall into the Senior Citizen
category. Plenty of soft foods, then, open-face sammiches smothered in
gravy, mashed potatoes, and the like. If you truly desire, I can get
some of the Other Food as an experiment and report back to you on the
quality, especially as compared to the pie (though I admit that I'm
going in with the thought that any non-pie foodstuffs there are clearly
secondary not only to the customers but to the proprietors as well).
Speak your wishes, woman! Oh, and happy anniversary, good luck with
your new set of balls, and you should totally go for the greeting card
gig. The example you put up today convinces me that you have a knack
for it.
OTHER food?! Those bastards. Is nothing pure and sacred anymore?
This is almost as upsetting as the time I found out the Cheese House
was NOT, in fact, made of cheese! And that Cracker Barrel was NOT a place to purchase
Cracker Barrel cheese. Oh, my life has been full of many disappointments indeed.
Ok, Crickett, try something in
the pie cousin families, like....oh, I don't know....CAKE, maybe?? Or brownies?
Or even cobbler if the kitchen staff are that industrious in their baking endeavors.

Speaking of food, the last time Mr. G and I ate at our local Ryan's Steakhouse, the dessert table was A HUGE FREAKING MESS. What is it with pies and cakes, that people can't just scoop out a PRE-CUT piece without slopping it all over the dessert bar? And don't even get me started on a**holes who take not only their piece of cake, but the ICING off the NEXT piece of cake!!!!! (And yes, this also refers to the a**holes who take the cheese off other pizza slices along with theirs, too.)
Stab me in the heart, why don't you?!
And cheesecake slices that are about an 1/8 of an inch wide??
Who are we feeding that we need to ration it that suh-vere-ly??
So yes, if you were at a Ryan's Steakhouse within the last few months and saw a woman taking ten slices of cheesecake at one time, THAT WAS ME. I needed to take that many just to make
up the normal size slice I eat at home.

One of these days Holly is actually going to get the gist of the words, "That is NOT one of Holly's toys!!"
Yesterday she came running into the living room with a maxi pad in her mouth. Yes, the was the kind with wings, damn it!! If she had been moviong any faster, she would have taken flight.
She's mightly stubborn this dog o'mine. I tried reasoning, "You don't need that maxi pad as much as I do." I tried threatening, "GIVE. ME. THE. DAMN. MAXI. PAD. NOW."
(I thought surely making my voice go up on the word "NOW" would do it, but alas, it had no effect whatsoever.) And finally I tried the old, not as reliable as
I thought, "you give me the maxi pad, I'll give you the treat" tactic. The only problem is she keeps whatever she's pilfered covered with her paws, so that when I extend the treat, she grabs it and manages to keep her booty at the same time. Oh the cleverness of canines. I try to lure her away from the item, to put distance between her and it so I can make a mad grab for it,
but that doesn't work either. She picks it up and carries it with her, then lays down
on it again when she gets closer to me and the treat.
When Holly's chewing on her bone, all I have to do is say, "Can I have your bone?" and she immediately freezes, crouching low over said bone. You just know that's not going to end well.
She's every bit as fiercely protective of a maxi pad as she is her bone.

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