Saturday, July 16, 2005

days go by i'm hypnotized

Goddess' Hot(t) Cop O'The Week Award goes to: *drum roll please*
Officer Paul Genualdo, from the Forth Worth, Texas Police Department.
**insert sighing and drooling here**

On the episode of COPS I was watching this afternoon from Fort Worth, the owner of the house they were called to had the words "ring bell" scribbled on the siding of their house above the doorbell. I guess people in those parts aren't smart enough to know what to do.

Ok, here's one more reason why I'd like to bitchslap some of the so-called money "experts." Jane Bryant Quinn said this in a recent issue of Good Housekeeping on how to get rich, " Take $10 out of your wallet EACH DAY. At the end of the month your life won't have changed much, but you'll now have a tidy $300 tucked away."
Hey, I have a better idea. Why stop at just $10? Why not take $20 out of your wallet every day, Jane? At the end of the month, you'll have $600!
For pete freaking sake, I don't even have $10 in my wallet for THE WEEK, let alone enough that I can take out $10 A DAY. I can tell Jane isn't living on minimum wage.

I don't want anybody to think I live in a podunk town but there's an advertisement currently running on the local news for a furniture store. As they give the directions to the store at the end of the commercial, they add, "take route blah blah for three miles, and we're just past the duck pond." A friend of mine was visiting from out of state and when he heard that he said, "The duck pond? Is that some kind of a store?"
I said, "No, that's some kind of a pond where ducks swim. Welcome to my world." And if ya get lost, don't be afraid to ask the ducks for directions.
Quack, quack, quack.

A court in Vancouver issued a gag order against 14 people who purchased Harry Potter books ahead of the release date. They were forbidden to discuss the story until AFTER it's Saturday release. They took them to COURT?! And the court actually did something about it in a quick and timely manner?! Do the courts in Canada not have anything better to do? It's only a damn kid's book. The CIA should have such immediate response to breaches in security. JK Rowling is rolling in moola and people talking about the book is only going to stir more interest.
Get over it. Speaking of JK Rowling rolling in moola and the fact that Harry Potter is going to be purchased largely by and for kids, I think charging $30 a pop is harsh.
Not to mention greedy.

I was watching the TV Guide channel today checking the schedule and they were showing some of that Open Call show. I love it. It consists of a moderator, who thinks she's all it and a bag of pinto beans, and two judges. Now they're all seated like two inches apart, yet when the time comes to "tally the votes," (yeah, all two of 'em) the moderator calls for some chick to "collect the votes." Like she couldn't reach over 25° to her left and get them herself.

Damn that Beater. I had a good thing going not talking about South.
But I just can't resist this one, so here goes: Well, my guess is Mike South will be making his new home in Calgary, Alberta.
(That's in Northern Canada for all of you who flunked the
geography portion of the GED test.)
Seems they have a problem with stray dogs and they're offering a bounty of $41 a head. A lot of you might not know this, but South is really good at rounding up strays for cash.
He's um, what you call, "skilled."

Damn it. I had only played "MmmBop" about ten times before one of the neighbors screamed, "Turn. That. Shit. OFF." I, of course, stuck my head out the window, waved and yelled, "You have a good day, too! Cute shorts, btw!" I always like to pretend I have no idea people are pissed off at me cuz it pisses 'em off even more. Like when someone is sweet enough to give me the one finger salute when driving, I smile and wave enthusiastically, knowing that it'll ruin their whole friggin' day.

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