Saturday, June 11, 2005

this love has taken it's toll on me

There was a really funny interview in O! Magazine this month with Jon Stewart. It's the issue with Oprah on the front. BWAHAHAHA she's on front of ALL of her--never mind. Anywho, Female Offspring #1 is a HUGE Jon Stewart fan and I was trying ever so cleverly to steal the article while at the JC Penney Styling Salon yesterday. Unfortunately there were people on both sides of me, about two inches away, one of which was reading the article over my shoulder.
[Yes, YOU, OLD MAN!! I could hear you whispering the damn words!]
I knew it was pointless to even try the cough loudly while tearing discreetly trick. This is not to be confused with the sneeze loudly while making one giant rip trick. That works with one page only. More than one page requires the cough and tear thing. And if it's a really thick article bark like you have bronchitis while tearing. I did the sneezing and tearing thing one time when Female Offspring #1 and I were waiting in a doctor's office. It worked so perfectly that we looked at each other in stunned surprise, then burst out laughing. Which, of course, called attention to the fact that we were ripping articles out of the mags, exactly what we were trying to avoid.

I went to the library yesterday and got a TON of great books. Now all I need is a rainy day and I'm good to go. I'm reading two books that are really good. One is about a....COP! Duh. And the other one is about a...SHERIFF! Double duh. Like you didn't see that coming.

No comments: