Saturday, June 04, 2005

storm front

I've been told by a great many people that my posts have become the topic of daily discussion amongst their friends, so at the end of today's post I shall list some possible questions for group discussion.

Sometimes a situation occurs that just stresses the importance of communication. The other morning, C.P. called me and asked me if I wanted to go to the "range." Naturally I ASSumed he meant the shooting range, so I borrowed one of Daddy's hand guns. C.P. came to pick me up and I came out of the house waving the gun, yelling, "Look what I have! My dad let me borrow one of his hand guns." Well, I never saw anybody hit the ground so fast in all my life. He's like, "What the FUCK do you have THAT for?!" I said, "Well, you're taking me to the shooting range. I can't very well take a water pistol." He said, "We're going to the DRIVING RANGE!" I'm like, "Damn. I hate to tell you this but I've had my drivers license since I was 16. If I don't know how to drive by now, forget it."

I should have known something was up though when he graciously offered me breakfast, too. Turns out he had to attend his niece's graduation from FIRST GRADE. UGH. I hate that shit as much as I hate changing tampons. And let me tell ya, there's nothing like the sound of 15 first graders singing, "Morning Has Broken" off key and at the top of their lungs. At one point I felt something warm and wet flowing in my ears. You guessed it: they were bleeding.
I couldn't STOP MYSELF from laughing, though, when they began to sing "Gimme That Old Time Religion." I'm thinking, "Holy shit. To this group, 1995 is "old time"." Then they sang, Kumbaya and asked everyone to join in. Hand gestures and all. Because there's nothing I'd rather do than sit around singing campfire songs at 8:30 in the morning, I showed C.P. a few gestures that weren't in the original song. The only interesting part of the morning was when a bunch of smart mouthed punks started to fight over a Star Wars Saber spoon from a box of cereal that one kid brought in to show the class. Cursing and swearing like you never heard before. But I managed to wrestle it away from them, and I am now the proud owner of a blue Saber spoon.

Luke Ford has over 200 pics from the XRCO awards on his site.
And they are ALL conveniently labeled "pic."

I saw a commercial for the new eps of Reno 911 today and they were using action figures. The commercials are a hoot but at the end of them, they say, "actual action figures not available," and I thought, "damn you just KNOW people are going to want them now that they know they're not available to the public." Cuz that's just the way people are.

And now on to the discussion questions:
1. Goddess touched on a number of different issues in today,
what do you think is the underlying theme of her post?
2. How do you think things might have turned out had Goddess' gun been fully loaded when she started flashing it around? What are your feelings on gun control? Jackass control? Jackasses with guns control?
3. Goddess mentioned graduation in her post. What is your fondest graduation memory? (Besides never having to see those cocksucking nuns again?)
4. Who is your favorite Reno 911 character and why? Do you think the show accurately depicts your local P.D.? If so, where the HELL do you live?!
5. Do you think Goddess really gives a shit about any of this?

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