Friday, June 24, 2005

one hundred days that made me older

Damn. I'm having problems shifting my vibrator from one gear to another. My guess is the transmission is slipping.

I have very, very sad news, kids. Not only are the Backstreet Boys back together but they're planning a world tour. They said they reunited because they missed "it." It being globs of money and free sex, I'm guessing.

What gives with Eric Roberts and music vids lately? I saw him in The Killer's vid and today I saw him in Mariah Carey's vid. I like Mariah, and I think she's a beautiful woman, but she over did it with the boobs. Every time I see her I can't help but stare at her big fake titties. She went from totally flat to HUGE and they're AlWAYS hanging out. And I mean hanging...

So last night I was laying in bed with Mr. G (who else, ya ass?!) and I said, "Honey. I'm sad because whenever I see chicks like the Pussycat Dolls I wish I was young and hot and had it to do all over again." He said, "Don't you think there are times that I wish I could go back and do it all over again, too?" And I said, "Umm, HELLO ?? This is MY pity party, not yours."

Before going to bed, I dragged Mr. G outside to dazzle him with my knowledge of astronomy. I pointed to three bright planets all close together and said, "Look, honey. I believe that's Mercury, Venus and Saturn." I made sure to rub my chin while I said it so as too look very intelluctual. Then I added, "And do you HOW I know this? Because I got an "A" in Science."
Mr. G: "You know this because you just read it
in the paper five minutes ago."
Me: "That is NOT tru--oh BITE ME already!"
The man NEVER gives me science credit for anything!
I mean so what if he's right!

Ever hear of the show Pimp My Ride? Mike South is starring in a new one called Pimp My Hide. The premise is that he uses hot girls to get him other hot girls. Oh, wait. That's not a show. That's his life. Never mind.

I went to the electronics store today to check but a new cd/stereo. After she finished talking on her cell phone to her boyfriend and making dinner arrangements, I asked the counter chick if they had any more of the stereos that were advertised in the paper.
She wasn't sure but said, "I'll axe, a'ite?"
I can't believe she didn't toss in an "oh no you di'nt!" to really make my day complete. There are times I'd just like to scream, "SPEAK ENGLISH!"

I didn't think I'd like it, but I like the mother/son team of Patti D'Arbanville and Jason Wiles on Third Watch. Patti, of course, has a son to Don Johnson and is the subject of the song Lady D'Arbanville by Cat Stevens. It's always strange, too, to see someone you once considered a hot sexpot playing the role of Mom.

Sweet Berry Punch toothpaste by Crest.
Does that not SOUND ever so healthy? You just KNOW there's some sort of sweetner in it (usually sorbitol) which kinda defeats the whole purpose of using toothpaste.

I saw the video for "One Word" by Kelly Osbourne. It has a LOT of clips of Kelly walking down hallways looking very intent.

S'mores anyone?

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